


There Are Voices In My Head (Not The Normal Kind Either)

by GlitchyPix



Series: Patton in a Bad Place [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series) - Fandom, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Follow Up from Cookie Crumbs and Tears, Hugs, Logan's POV, M/M, Patton has something kinda like an anxiety attack, third person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitchyPix/pseuds/GlitchyPix
Summary: “I-I heard a voice,”“A voice?”After the incident from yesterday, Logan goes to Patton to apologise for what happened. However, Logan finds Patton staring blankly at a wall for seemingly no reason and becomes mildly concerned. It seems that poor Patton really can't catch a break with these things, huh





	There Are Voices In My Head (Not The Normal Kind Either)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Septiplier_Lover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septiplier_Lover/gifts).



> So, on Cookie Crumbs and Tears, Septiplier_Lover commented and wanted to know how Logan would make it up to Patton for the crap he pulled. This is basically my response. I advise you read Cookie Crumbs and Tears before you read this one, they're interconnected after all.

Logan wasn’t exactly well-known for being a very social side. He wasn’t nervous or shy or anything of the like, he just found conversations to be hard to transcribe when he couldn’t fully understand how emotions work. And usually, if a problem was that he wasn’t knowledgeable on a subject, he would just become knowledgeable on that subject by researching and extensive interaction and experience on the subject until he knew it like the back of his hand. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried to understand how emotions work either, Logan had done a considerable amount of research on the topic of emotions, finding out about many chemical reactions that occur in the brain through said research but none of what he did really help him become more social. He was still left puzzled when trying to interact with the side he was arguably closest to despite what his treatment of said side may have said.

Speaking of the side he was closest with, Logan was currently sitting next to him. Now, usually, this side would be colouring or playing around with a various assortment of objects. If nothing else, Patton would at least be more attentive to the other side in the room with him but not this time. Nope, Patton was fixated on a wall, a weak smile left on his face and Logan was currently considering the idea that maybe the usually optimistic side was possibly daydreaming. That idea was quickly tossed out once Logan noticed the change in Patton’s smile. It had somehow diminished, faltering a little with the faint catch of a corner even quivering. Logan was concerned, he’d come to apologise for his abhorrent behaviour the day before but he was genuinely worried about whatever was going through his colleague’s head. Patton seemed to try and shake off whatever was bothering him (literally, he shook his head gently) before focusing back on reality.

It was then Patton noticed him.

“GYAH- L-Logan! Hi! What’re ya doin’ here?” Patton looked visibly shaken but he at least tried to pretend he was fine. Logan wanted to push on that topic a bit but he figured that he was here for a reason, he needed to actually apologise to him.

“I was looking for you and here was where I found you. I just wanted to give my sincerest apology for my actions yesterday. What I did wasn’t necessary or warranted and I realise that I must’ve hurt you horribly. That was noisome-”

“Noi-what now?”

“That was despicable of me. So, I humbly ask for your forgiveness and I will promise myself a favour to you and to improve with my behaviour so something similar to my outburst doesn’t happen again,” Logan wasn’t great at apologies, he never knew exactly what to say and never really knew if his tone or wording came off as too brash or abrasive for the apology to be accepted. That’s why he typically avoided confrontation, no need to apologise if you don’t find a situation where you’d need to. Again, an odd sentiment for him considering his love of learning but that love of learning had a limit and Logan’s was emotions and anything tied to them.

Patton beamed at the more logical side, utter joy filling his eyes at Logan's apology. It wasn't too surprising to Logan that the fatherly side immediately decided to bring him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. Logan had been trying to become a little more touchy with the elder side, the sudden hug hadn’t been too uncomfortable as such but the squeeze he was subjected to after they had been hugging for a few seconds did present a decent amount of pain and Logan attempted to rub circles in the other’s back to, hopefully, lessen to force put into the hug. It didn’t and Logan was left curious to why Patton had decided to tighten his grip. When pulling the elder side back slightly, he was left unsuccessful in lessening his grip and it was at that point where Logan knew something was deathly wrong. This either wasn’t Patton or Patton was going through something bad and Logan suspected it was the latter if their usual interactions were any indication. Patton only refused to let go of a hug if he was feeling particularly bad or if he was completely out of it and that was what Logan was worried about. Turning his head, the logical side made an attempt to get a look at Patton’s face.

Patton looked horrified.

Immediately, Logan attempted to shake Patton out of it, lightly rocking the side back and forth to try and wake him up from whatever daze he was in. It didn’t work. Next, the logical side tried to call out to his friend, calling his name at a moderate volume. It didn’t work. Logan was quickly running out of options and decided to try both shaking and calling out to the elder side. His volume was rising; Logan realised this was most likely the result of panic- of concern about what was happening to the side that was held in his arms at this very moment. Logan tried shaking Patton a little more violently in return.

It didn’t work

Patton was hyperventilating, Logan could feel his quickening breath becoming weaker with terror and he, out of sheer adrenaline, managed to pry the older side off of him. Logan quickly but gently cupped the other’s face in his hands, taking note of the mix of tears and snot flowing down his face. Not a pretty sight but a sympathetic one nonetheless. Logan got Patton to look at him dead in the eye before offering the other side a soft, gentle look. It wasn’t often Logan would lessen his hardened expression for anyone except maybe Thomas and occasionally Virgil but he felt that a soft gaze was necessary as to prevent the fatherly side from going further into whatever trance that had fallen upon him. Patton was slowly but surely calming down.

“Patton, take deep breaths. Try and focus on your breathing for a moment,” Logan recited the same mantra he’d done with Virgil when the anxious side was having his own panic attacks. Ever the analytical side, Logan had made sure to look up ways to help someone through a panic attack for Virgil’s sake and, while he wasn’t sure if what Patton was experiencing was a panic attack, he would at least treat it like one. After a few minutes of Patton focusing on levelling out his breathing, Logan decided to speak up again.

“Ok, do you think you can tell me what just happened? If not then try focus on the environment, name five things you can see,” Logan’s voice, usually direct and harsh, had gained a gentle lilt and a softened tone. His hands had let go of Patton’s face but he kept a steady gaze on the other side. Patton took in a deep breath before letting out before looking back at the side that was currently talking him through a vague episode.

“I-I heard a voice,”

Logan barely made out the sentence, Patton’s voice was oddly quiet and almost weak. Logan did hear what Patton had said, confusion taking over his mind at said statement.

“A voice?”

“Uh-huh. It was deep and kinda scary. It was also echo-ey like it was coming from my head,” Patton held a look of concern, of fear. Logan was left lost, there weren’t any conceivable reason Patton would be hearing voices. Thomas didn’t have any notable mental health problems that would lead to Patton (or any of the other sides for that matter) having any sort of auditory hallucinations. And isn’t like it wasn’t coming from Patton’s own head, Logan would’ve heard it otherwise.

“And what did it say?” Logan was becoming more concerned by the moment, not helped by the fact that Patton had gone silent at the question. Patton was hearing voices, why wouldn’t he be worried. It wasn’t even just the fact that Patton was hearing voices, it was the fact that there was no reason for him to be hearing voices in the first place and that fact made Logan worried for what the voices had said. Finally, Patton spoke.

”It told me that you hated me,”

 

Logan stopped, frozen. Did Patton honestly believe he hated him? A sudden wave of pure guilt flooded over Logan and the usually contact-avoidant side quickly wrapped his arms around the elder side, pulling him into another embrace, this one more gentle than the one Patton had given him earlier. One of Logan’s hands stroked through Patton’s hair while the other traced circles into his back with a finger. Patton returned the gentle hug, snuggling his face into Logan’s shoulder.

“Patton, I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you believe I hated you, I honestly don’t. In fact, it’s quite the contrary if I’m to be honest with you,” Logan has always known that he’d held a strong affection for the emotional side, however, he’d never known what to call the absurd affection before. He never wanted to assume it was anything more than just platonic but reducing his emotions at the moment seemed completely counterproductive and unhelpful. 

“How come you’re so mean to me during the videos then?”

Logan paused, trying to find a way to word his statement without revealing too much but while also not coming off as too cold. This whole incident with the voices probably only became so bad because Logan legitimately did come off as aloof and mean to most people, especially people such as the emotion-based Patton. The logical side always considered the interaction he’d had with Patton harmless banter, something the other side could just brush off akin to Virgil and Roman’s banter. Apparently, that wasn’t clear to Patton himself. Guilt filled Logan’s system further at the thought that he’d caused Patton further grief that may have possibly trailed back to before the voice had appeared.

“I never meant for it to come off as rude, I have clear problems understanding social cues. I didn’t quite realise how my words may have hurt you but they did and I apologise. I apologise for every awful thing I’ve said to you, I apologise for shoving you yesterday, I apologise for underestimating you; I apologise for everything I’ve done that would ever make you think that I hate you,”

Patton was silent and Logan was curious about how the older side was feeling. The two hadn’t separated from their position and Logan didn’t really want to pull the cuddly side off of him, not after what he’s been through. He wasn’t letting go unless Patton wanted him to. Said side decided to snuggled further into Logan’s shoulder, still remaining quiet and Logan deduced that blue-clad side was probably tired and using Logan as a headrest again. The logical side decided to let his friend drift off to sleep, keeping the room quiet and noiseless.

It was silent.

“Logan?”

“Yes, Patton?”

“The voice is still there,”

“Is it still trying to tell you that I hate you?”

“No but it’s still lying, it’s just lying about other things. I think it’s getting desperate,”

“It probably is,”

It was silent again.

“Logan?”

“Yes, Patton?”

“Thank you,”

Logan smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you guess who the voice in Patton's head is?
> 
> Anyways, fun fact, Patton was supposed to mention how that voice in his head's been rattling on for a while and it was supposed to be implied that he's been hearing since at least before Moving On and possibly even before that. I never got around to mentioning it though so yeah


End file.
